(Essay for YGreenies)
We all started out as a fan of some sort.
No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true. Don’t get insulted. Don’t squirm. Be proud.
“Deus Ex Machina” is a literary device I got myself acquainted to during my second year in high school. “Florante at Laura” served as a fuel then that drove me to try and delve into writing. The classic tinge of “God’s hand” or “God’s machine” as situations presented themselves unprecedentedly to save Laura from a rape or even Florante from death, appeared appealing to me at that time. I considered it a classic vice for a story twist.
Few more years passed and after I left high school, I somewhat lay-low on my writing. My not-so-well-kept literary folio gathered dusts on my shelf as days passed. I went to college and found myself flunking Anatomy, Nutrition and Microbiology. I found myself to be an average, thriving to survive as an average and performing as an average. It wasn’t a very good feeling.
During class discussions, I found an escape through writing pieces in my head. They basically wrote themselves. The only subjects I excelled at were Panitikan and Filipino Literature in English. Both subjects I earned flat ones on my class cards, the only ones that I had been proud of ever since.
My left and right brain were in constant battle. The science of Nursing made me fear the idealist in me. To me, reality was no longer an oasis. Within my years in college, I ended up writing an essay that was blunt and honest. I won first price. Big deal. But having had written it, I slapped myself with the reality that had brought me to Nursing school. The theme went: “The World through the Eyes of my Patient.” I entitled my essay: “Osmeña’s Eyes.” (Figure it out.)
I had my whole future laid out for me. I was like a fish going by the flow. It was like a life of no sense. I lived for the future, for what others wanted me to be. I died a little every day. I stopped writing new literary entries for my folio. I kept blogs for rants and rubbish. Just so I had a place to vent out what I had no voice for.
My feat to find the CCYG was a vivid image to me. I remember it in bits and pieces. But our journey together; as a circle, as friends, as YGreenies; is the most colorful and detailed image I have in my head. I know that I wasn’t there all the time, but my thoughts were always with you.
But let’s not forget that we were joined together by one person whom we want to know and learn through her examples. We admire the path she is taking and we are humbled by the time and attention she’s giving us. Let us not forget that we are on our way to rise above. And our greatest achievement by far is our initiative to try and step out of her shadow. I believe that by living the life we see in her, we are making her proud just as we are growing to be proud of ourselves.
We all know that we all started out as a fan of some sort, her fan particularly.
No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true.
Don’t get insulted.
Don’t squirm.
Be proud. I know I am.
And by the way, YOU: the circle, the friends, the YGreenies; ARE MY DEUS EX MACHINA. If it means anything to you, let’s please continue to rise above. Always to be better than what we were yesterday, with the same driving force that we always had.
Through you, I see more colors. I started writing essays with themes again (if you noticed). I am more driven and more faithful. I am in constant desire to understand, to learn, to heal; with hopes that in the future, I’ll get to help others heal too.
YGreenies, please know that it was all because we journeyed this path together.
We all started out as a fan of some sort.
No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true. Don’t get insulted. Don’t squirm. Be proud.
“Deus Ex Machina” is a literary device I got myself acquainted to during my second year in high school. “Florante at Laura” served as a fuel then that drove me to try and delve into writing. The classic tinge of “God’s hand” or “God’s machine” as situations presented themselves unprecedentedly to save Laura from a rape or even Florante from death, appeared appealing to me at that time. I considered it a classic vice for a story twist.
Few more years passed and after I left high school, I somewhat lay-low on my writing. My not-so-well-kept literary folio gathered dusts on my shelf as days passed. I went to college and found myself flunking Anatomy, Nutrition and Microbiology. I found myself to be an average, thriving to survive as an average and performing as an average. It wasn’t a very good feeling.
During class discussions, I found an escape through writing pieces in my head. They basically wrote themselves. The only subjects I excelled at were Panitikan and Filipino Literature in English. Both subjects I earned flat ones on my class cards, the only ones that I had been proud of ever since.
My left and right brain were in constant battle. The science of Nursing made me fear the idealist in me. To me, reality was no longer an oasis. Within my years in college, I ended up writing an essay that was blunt and honest. I won first price. Big deal. But having had written it, I slapped myself with the reality that had brought me to Nursing school. The theme went: “The World through the Eyes of my Patient.” I entitled my essay: “Osmeña’s Eyes.” (Figure it out.)
I had my whole future laid out for me. I was like a fish going by the flow. It was like a life of no sense. I lived for the future, for what others wanted me to be. I died a little every day. I stopped writing new literary entries for my folio. I kept blogs for rants and rubbish. Just so I had a place to vent out what I had no voice for.
My feat to find the CCYG was a vivid image to me. I remember it in bits and pieces. But our journey together; as a circle, as friends, as YGreenies; is the most colorful and detailed image I have in my head. I know that I wasn’t there all the time, but my thoughts were always with you.
But let’s not forget that we were joined together by one person whom we want to know and learn through her examples. We admire the path she is taking and we are humbled by the time and attention she’s giving us. Let us not forget that we are on our way to rise above. And our greatest achievement by far is our initiative to try and step out of her shadow. I believe that by living the life we see in her, we are making her proud just as we are growing to be proud of ourselves.
We all know that we all started out as a fan of some sort, her fan particularly.
No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true.
Don’t get insulted.
Don’t squirm.
Be proud. I know I am.
And by the way, YOU: the circle, the friends, the YGreenies; ARE MY DEUS EX MACHINA. If it means anything to you, let’s please continue to rise above. Always to be better than what we were yesterday, with the same driving force that we always had.
Through you, I see more colors. I started writing essays with themes again (if you noticed). I am more driven and more faithful. I am in constant desire to understand, to learn, to heal; with hopes that in the future, I’ll get to help others heal too.
YGreenies, please know that it was all because we journeyed this path together.
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Miyerkules, Enero 20, 2010 nang 12:21 AM
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