The Void

You see the darkness and you feel it eat you away. Everyday, little by little, until your dream to see the light appears like vague blisters in time. You fight it. You fight it hard because you have seen it coming. You have seen a future that you actually believe to have started happening. You actually believe you are destined to burn, crash, then die. Certain things may delay it, but you know---with no one to look behind you, with no one to wish you well, with vultures waiting you demonstrate fragility, with scavengers waiting for your fall --- you are bound to be eaten away by the void you wish so much to get away from.

You have known nothing but darkness. You have heard nothing but your voice, making an appeal for sanity. You watch events transpire before you, hoping that each one unfolds to give you better reason to hope for a different future. You use judgement and tucked your emotions in your pocket. You think that the darkness was too dreadful to share. That the baggage was made for you to be that heavy. You endured and you succeeded. But you know, the thread is becoming as vulnerable and shorter as you are becoming. A time will come that it'll break. Only you have to decide whether you cut yourself loose or you wait for it to break as it breaks you...

You have verbalized your desire to be washed up, to be clean, to be better than what you think you see in yourself. You hope for a better future. You have seen light sparkle like a tiny bubble bursting into nothingness. That split second gave you a lighter perspective. For a split second you believed you can get out of the darkness that envelops you. Until reality sets in again.

The curse of survival is endurance. You thought that maybe you were against destiny when you lived. Other people were made for greatness, you battle with your mind that maybe you were made to merely survive.

You have a tendency to exhaust the very few support that you have. You know that they are at some point entitled to get tired of you, the very same principle you have seen happen when the very people who should have been there for you initiated the steps they took very lightly when they left. You have felt too much since then. You were forced to grow up faster than you should. That void was strewn with strange pebbles of a much darker emotion that you have known nothing about before. You bore anger and they wondered why you had it in your heart. You started resenting yourself for being abandoned and regret every single decision you allowed them to make. You wished that you should have been more selfish and acted more like the little child that you were. You should have acted out instead of allowing them to be free. You let them get away for their mistakes never thinking that it'll take its toll on you at some point in the future.

Because right now you are lost, and conflicted. No one is claiming you for their own. You cannot call your house your home because it had been said that you shouldn't have been there. It has been said that you have burdened them for too long. Maybe they could have lived more lightly without the heavier burden that was you...

You tried proving yourself worthy and you gave them everything they asked of you. You forgot how it was to dream of who you will become when you grow up and exchanged it for who you know they wish you to become just so they would be happy. You traded your dream for acceptance until slowly, you start thinking that others are much more worthy of the good things in life, that you could always settle for less. Until slowly you grew ashamed and inferior.

Scavengers and vultures envy you for being pampered in the void. They might have though that you enjoyed the silence, that its comfortable. They might have thought that the abundance was a privilege that should have been theirs if you had not lived. If only they knew that on the other side of the void, the silence meant neglect, that the abundance were produce that you have to pay with your life. They did not know that you have lost too much of yourself just to show gratitude yet all that you are to them is a dense, thick-faced, selfish ingrate who knew nothing but prosperity, who took more than you deserve. What was sad was that you have those scavengers and vultures for blood relatives. So you think, maybe, you really were not meant for any better. Just like them. Just like what they say.

The battle to get out of the void is yours alone. You mastered to keep things to yourself. You have grown to be on your own for your own. You had little triumphs they didn't know and care so much about. You battle against indifference and you endured alone. No words of advise but your insights. No words of comfort, nor gestures that demonstrated empathy, sympathy or support. You are on your own. You had to be on your own.

Ideals are something you cannot share. Realizations are to be kept. Dreams are to be succumbed for their vision. You know that the longer you stay in the void, you are losing more of yourself to offer to the world.

You are no different to a hero vying for freedom, to a martyr wishing to be saved, to a fairy-tale princess longing for that happily-ever-after. Only, you have no army, no savior, no fairy godmother. The battle is yours alone to fight and win. The triumph will be the venue for another battle for you to survive after. The same scavengers and vultures will wait up patiently to see you fail in your newly found freedom and will laugh at your face for being the failure that you will be, for your mistakes even before you make them. They will not be satisfied until you are forced to get back to the void for abundance and comfort. When that time comes, they will be spitting on your remaining dignity and will be tearing you harder than they already had before to break you to a finer broken shards of debris that you are.

So if that decision to loose yourself free shall be made, it has to be with all your strength and with all faithfulness to the Lord that you can do it. The parting of ways shall elevate the bar from your lowered belief for survival towards a search for a meaningful life. Leaving the void should mean freedom rather than another mistake at decision making. You will have to abandon all your ways when its time to leave, for that's the goal of the rebellion. You know that you don't want to be alone, but who knows who might be out there waiting for you to gather your strength to come shooting out of the darkness to learn to live again and reconnect to the vast universe of humanity that you attempted to suppress.

While you're fighting the battle, maybe all you really need is an immensely brilliant star shinning steadily in the firmament to look up to, to envision to become and follow, to embody hope and all the right reasons to emerge victorious. Hope, my friend, never lose it.

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Linggo, Marso 07, 2010 nang 8:59 PM

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Deus Ex Machina

(Essay for YGreenies)

We all started out as a fan of some sort.

No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true. Don’t get insulted. Don’t squirm. Be proud.

“Deus Ex Machina” is a literary device I got myself acquainted to during my second year in high school. “Florante at Laura” served as a fuel then that drove me to try and delve into writing. The classic tinge of “God’s hand” or “God’s machine” as situations presented themselves unprecedentedly to save Laura from a rape or even Florante from death, appeared appealing to me at that time. I considered it a classic vice for a story twist.

Few more years passed and after I left high school, I somewhat lay-low on my writing. My not-so-well-kept literary folio gathered dusts on my shelf as days passed. I went to college and found myself flunking Anatomy, Nutrition and Microbiology. I found myself to be an average, thriving to survive as an average and performing as an average. It wasn’t a very good feeling.

During class discussions, I found an escape through writing pieces in my head. They basically wrote themselves. The only subjects I excelled at were Panitikan and Filipino Literature in English. Both subjects I earned flat ones on my class cards, the only ones that I had been proud of ever since.

My left and right brain were in constant battle. The science of Nursing made me fear the idealist in me. To me, reality was no longer an oasis. Within my years in college, I ended up writing an essay that was blunt and honest. I won first price. Big deal. But having had written it, I slapped myself with the reality that had brought me to Nursing school. The theme went: “The World through the Eyes of my Patient.” I entitled my essay: “Osmeña’s Eyes.” (Figure it out.)

I had my whole future laid out for me. I was like a fish going by the flow. It was like a life of no sense. I lived for the future, for what others wanted me to be. I died a little every day. I stopped writing new literary entries for my folio. I kept blogs for rants and rubbish. Just so I had a place to vent out what I had no voice for.

My feat to find the CCYG was a vivid image to me. I remember it in bits and pieces. But our journey together; as a circle, as friends, as YGreenies; is the most colorful and detailed image I have in my head. I know that I wasn’t there all the time, but my thoughts were always with you.

But let’s not forget that we were joined together by one person whom we want to know and learn through her examples. We admire the path she is taking and we are humbled by the time and attention she’s giving us. Let us not forget that we are on our way to rise above. And our greatest achievement by far is our initiative to try and step out of her shadow. I believe that by living the life we see in her, we are making her proud just as we are growing to be proud of ourselves.

We all know that we all started out as a fan of some sort, her fan particularly.

No matter how repulsed we might feel about that word when it was used by someone who didn’t have the knowledge that we have in our circle, it is undeniably true.

Don’t get insulted.

Don’t squirm.

Be proud. I know I am.

And by the way, YOU: the circle, the friends, the YGreenies; ARE MY DEUS EX MACHINA. If it means anything to you, let’s please continue to rise above. Always to be better than what we were yesterday, with the same driving force that we always had.

Through you, I see more colors. I started writing essays with themes again (if you noticed). I am more driven and more faithful. I am in constant desire to understand, to learn, to heal; with hopes that in the future, I’ll get to help others heal too.

YGreenies, please know that it was all because we journeyed this path together.

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Miyerkules, Enero 20, 2010 nang 12:21 AM

http://www.facebook.com/mlraymundo?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=286644328412

In a State of Flux I

I am not into ranting today. I am actually into contemplation, and a little bit of day dreaming. And a little into thoughts of the future. Too many information overwhelms me, and this entry attempts to try and organize in those little colorful shelves in my brain all the thoughts and emotions pertaining to each.

First one is the fact that: Inferiority hits hard. --- All of us feel a little low once in a while. Confidence fluctuates and feelings of being inadequate flows like a water to a dipper that very slowly drains at the bottom. I unknowingly feed in all those emotions and it never seem too obvious to catch my attention, until now.

I still haven't finished cleaning my room since I started throwing things to the floor last December 23. I lost my Canon Powershot D10 within the similar time line, and the possibility of getting another one seems gloomy. And it can only get far too gloomy for me when it comes to the thought that I'd get a DSLR in exchange. Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Then on further self-examination I noticed how I obsessed on DSLR specs and anything related to photography. I took out the old DVD volumes of Star Trek:Voyager from its safe shelf and started rummaging through its 7 seasons of glorified adventures in the uncharted space of the Delta Quadrant of the Milky Way (or whatever that is). I lose sleep and insomnia seems to have taken over my evenings. I find myself lost in each episode until it's already 2AM but still, there's nothing even as provocative as a yawn. I became an evening person because I didn't want to make contact or conversations. I am asleep in the mornings when I should have been an all-around errand girl for my movement-limited Mom and slightly obnoxious Dad. No wonder, the thought of throwing me out of the house again through some brawl with my Dad will be such an entertainment for him.

If only they knew how my neural pathways seem to drown in thoughts of uncertainty and insufficiency, maybe they'll back off a little. Or maybe not. Well, obviously they will not. Or simply put, they couldn't read me just as I have been failing to read me until now.

All my actions mentioned above are actions of a classic escapist. All boils down to a state of avoidance.

I avoided reality because I wanted something else. I watched Star Trek because Sci-Fi has always been notorious in presenting stories of "what could have been's" and "what might be's". I sleep in the morning because I am ashamed of a day passing with lost opportunities of me doing the things I might have wanted to have done. It could have been a day at a literary class thinking and brainstorming for fiction plots. It could have been a day for me taking shots after shots of swaying trees, of languid colors of emotion and events of distinction. It could have been a day in a hospital as I help patients get well as my career gain points through experience. It could have been a day passing as I climb each rock that strengthens my limbs as I reach the sky and breathe the mountaintop air.

I am such a free spirit and living caged like this is killing me with each deep slumber.

I could have been out there seeing the world as it is, what it could have been and what it might be.

Well, this isn't just my time yet. I lack the luxury of resources to finance and execute my adventures. Maybe it just should be placed in a year-plan-notebook or a life-plan-notebook of some sort. Or whatever.

To be continued...

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Linggo, Enero 10, 2010 nang 11:11 PM

http://www.facebook.com/mlraymundo?v=app_2347471856#!/notes/mariel-liza-m-raymundo/in-a-state-of-flux-i/270827398412

Life as it is and Life as we (or as I) know it.

This is more like an entry to ponder on certain things, unlike my previous rants. There are a lot in my head at the moment that it all seem to consume me. And it felt like, I allowed it to be so only to let time pass regardless of its quality.

Right now, I am not overly happy. Everything is just alright and I am okay. But I am not happy in being okay. I want something extraordinary. I want something inspiring. I want a lot of things I can’t seem to grasp right now.

It’s like everything in life is about waiting: waiting for the right moment to come, waiting for somebody’s consent on how you’ll live your life, waiting for a certain event that will turn your world upside down to set things right.

Life is overrated.

Love is overrated.

Friendship is just as overrated.

Fine.

Maybe I don’t really mean it. Maybe it’s just me expecting so much from myself and not accomplishing it all right now is crushing me.

The gaining age part is just as heartbreaking. I am growing old and I am still not going anywhere. Yes, quarter life crisis or whatever… I am frustrated with my lack of back bone. I am tolerating the status quo and I’m fine with it (something that made me want to be ashamed of myself).

Life is not supposed to be hard. It’s just that I always make it so. I set up high standards for achievement. I always expect more from myself. I make greatness a goal. I try to inspire as many as I can towards the same goal… but there are times when my own standard and goal for greatness catches up to me. Then, it will eat me up whole as I find more people who can effortlessly achieve and stand out.

I always have to prove something. There are people who don’t have to.

I always have to work hard to deserve the things that I have. Still, there are people who get things with no sweat.

Life can be unfair. There are people who are supposed to be behind you but then overtake and mercilessly leave you behind. Can be because they have the power, they have the connection or that they simply can do such things. Life is not so much like a beach. It’s more like a predatory safari. It’s as if Charles Darwin got it all right the very first time.

Realization: I am just as hard to myself as I am to everyone else. There’s more to life. And, patience is a virtue. Then, add up perseverance, have a little more faith, think of the Muse (who doesn’t seem to know who I am). And oh, remember: Ut In Omnibus Glorificatur Dei --- That in all things (I’ll do), God may be glorified; Greatness is the goal; make Morality the standard.

Rise above.

Just, rise above.

Even if what it has to be is taking one painful step at a time, then so be it.

So be it.

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Lunes, Nobyembre 16, 2009 nang 5:02 PM

http://www.facebook.com/mlraymundo?v=app_2347471856#!/notes/mariel-liza-m-raymundo/life-as-it-is-and-life-as-we-or-as-i-know-it/202718668412

Happy Birthday, Ms Chin Chin Gutierrez

Happy birthday po, idol.
Basta, galingan mo lagi.
Marami kaming masaya pag napapanood ka.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blEr2WTsIWQ

Always.
:D

Scuttlebutt

Chin Chin gives a statement about incident in soap

By SHIRLEY MATIAS-PIZARRO

November 6, 2009, 3:33pm

It makes me sad to hear about what happened on the set of “Dahil May Isang Ikaw” involving Ms. Lorna Tolentino and Chin Chin Gutierrez. It makes me even sadder to hear about the repercussions of the said incident.

We heard that both actresses got hurt while acting on a confrontation scene, but from the looks of it, it was Ms. LT who got hurt more, emerging from the scene bruised and blue, losing a few strands of hair that got caught in Chin Chin’s ring. Chin Chin, for her part, had a bruised leg to show for the unfortunate “accident.”

Because of this, we have been told that LT, allegedly traumatized from the violent confrontation, is now having second thoughts about wanting to do a scene with Chin Chin again.

What Lorna feels bad about is that some people outside of the issue tend to be so quick to judge, saying that it was just a gimmick that they have concocted to drum up publicity for the top-rating soap opera on ABS-CBN. She was quoted as saying (to this effect), “I’ve been in this business for a long time now. I don’t need this kind of publicity stunt to be controversial. I don’t want this issue to escalate that’s why I refuse to talk about it.”

We spoke with our friend Anjie Ureta, Chin’s manager about this, and she told us that Chin Chin is very very sad about what happened and expresses her heartfelt apology to Ms. LT for the accident.

What pricked our heart is that she was even asking us for suggestions, any idea on how they can make things better for Lorna, an actress that Chin Chin has so much respect for, and how they can show her how bad they truly feel for being hurt in that scene.

She told me, “no one planned for that to happen. But to be sorry for something unintentional is not enough and somehow we know and we understand how Ms. LT must be feeling right now.”

Ms. LT is one of our most favorite superstars in this business because she is a very nice person. We always love being around her during the times we worked together on some publicity projects. On the other hand, Anjie and Chin have been our friends for decades now (especially Anjie) and we know them to be people with good hearts, very spiritual and very peace-loving.

We asked for a copy of Chin Chin’s statement and we’re printing it below in full. We can only pray that this matter will be put to rest and that love with prevail above all else.

November 5, 2009

It is in the spirit of peace, clarity and healing that we are now addressing the unfortunate accident involving our artist, Ms Chin-Chin Gutierrez, and Ms. Lorna Tolentino, which transpired while taping an episode of their television program last week. We reaffirm that the accident was purely unintentional and occurred in the presence of the location heads in-charge of production. She has sincerely apologized to Ms. Tolentino from the moment that she realized the resulting injury after the take and personally assisted her in seeking professionally advised first aid intervention. Recognizing that apologies may not be enough to console her respected colleague, Ms. Gutierrez had indeed sought Ms. Tolentino’s permission to pray together, trusting that the Divine Healer will not only soothe away the physical hurt but also whatever unseen wound in their relationship that may arise from the tense situation.

Ms. Gutierrez wishes to express: “With all humility, I wish to give the best thing I can give now -- to witness to the truth of fraternal love. Keeping peace and being peace are more important than raising my voice to clear my name. The well-being of Ms. Lorna Tolentino is foremost in my mind at the moment, equalled only by my concern for the program. I firmly believe it is Truth in Love that casts out all fear and makes all things new. I remain faithful to the inner goodness in every person shining through, which allows for the restoration of relationships through the graces of faith, forgiveness and prayer for one another.”

We thank everyone who has maintained understanding and sobriety in the face of this unfortunate accident. We share in the deeper aspiration of many voices, heard and unheard, that the matter finds its peaceful and just resolution.

Sincerely yours, Anjie Ureta Artist Manager representing Chin-Chin Gutierrez

SOURCE: http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/228205/chin-chin-gives-a-statement-about-incident-soap

My Chin Chin Gutierrez Defense (My Call for People to be Rational)

I have points that I want to stress out after I read a lot about this issue that stressed me out at some point as well. Baka kasi isipin ng mga tao, because hindi nag rereact pa si Ms. Chin Chin at kokonti lang kami na nagdedefend sa kanya e, pwede na ‘tong nangyayari. This is all exaggerated publicity trying to kill off or destroy Ms. Chin Chin Guttierez’s career. Who’d say that this is hallow assumption? Then, why the hell do you think this destructive publicity came out? Na lahat ng written article about this issue placed Ms. Chin Chin as the bad person who has gone mad?

I just have to say this, I used to respect LT. Now I don’t. I have lost all respect there is for her (as an actress or whatever she wants to place herself as). And that’s partly because of a few of her nagging fans who threw at Chin Chin insults that are below the belt as one Loranian had put it in defending her own idol.

In all Ms. Chin Chin’s life in showbiz, did something like this ever happen before? Nagreklamo ba yung mga nakaeksena nya at nasaktan sa run ng MSKM? Nagsalita ba si Chin Chin ever about herself being hurt? Did anyone ever hear her say a bad thing about anyone? Reality check, people. Objective ako na tao. Yes, I like Chin Chin (and I used to like LT), but it’s not going to be difficult for me to stop defending her if she had been all wrong at this. I’d be more than willing to keep my silence kung gano’n.

The truth is that she’s not at all like the person that the wrongful adjectives in the forum pertained her to be.

POINT #1: CALLING SOMEONE WEIRD BECAUSE YOU LACK UNDERSTANDING DOES NOT ELEVATE YOU FROM WHAT YOU TRULY ARE, THAT IS, IGNORANT.Calling Chin Chin “Krung-krung” or crazy is never anyone’s right. Kilalanin nyo muna yung tao bago nyo husgahan. Alamin nyo kung ano yung standpoint nya sa buhay at kung ano ang tingin nya sa iyo at baka mahiya ka sa sarili mo. The woman is beyond anyone. Her take on things are far more sensible than Lolit, Ricky Lo and any other tabloid writer with credibility cases on their laps.

I’m calling out as a human being, don’t judge when you don’t understand because the judge places himself/herself in the seat of ignorance for being arrogant to think that they are better off being a judge than a learner.

It’s Jesus Christ’s Golden Rule all over again.

POINT #2: The current issue is that Chin Chin OVERREACTED and INTENTIONALLY hurt LT, other people would say.
Baka masabi nyo na out of context ako. Alam ko po yung issue. Sabi sa mga article, nadala daw si Chin Chin sa eksena at tumodo yung pananakit nya. Kesyo di daw natanggal yung sing sing at nagkapasa si LT sa mamahalin nyang mukha (at may kalmot pa). Hindi po ako bulag sa issue. Nabasa ko yung mga pinopost dito na (mga) article ng mga members na gustong gawing malaking issue to at pag-awayin ang mga fans. At hindi ko idedeny na “gimik” lang ang take ko dito nung una and that there’s no truth in this. I still believe its gimik. But then, I am starting to believe na there’s some truth in this when I read somewhere na nag-sorry si Ms. Chin Chin.

After knowing somewhere na nag sorry daw siya and reading somewhere else that she has been mocked at her humility is just OUTRIGHT WRONG. Isipin nyo naman yung ginagawa ng mga writers na yun dun sa tao. If you had known her, being humble is one quality that she has that you will definitely admire. Never siya makikipagpataasan ng ihi with anyone. She’d say good things about other people. Only if you’d read more of her interviews on sensible magazines than reading those tabloid crap that has to use almost naked women on the cover for some petty 5 or 6 pesos.

Have you heard na lumaban siya? Did she even try to defend herself? Did she throw defensive comments to those biased writers? I have the answer. No. Nor she denied that she apologized. And showing humility is a point gained by her.

Next thing we heard is that she cried on what was written. I don’t know if there’s some truth to that. But again, if you had known her, (on my take) I believe that she’d come to that breaking point at some time. But did she call a press conference and cried at their faces to get people’s sympathy? Did she outright get herself interviewed to disprove LT’s accusation and complained about her “P.I”-ing her? Again, I have the answer. No. So far, she has been the one who faced this issue with dignity and grace, two qualities that are never a bad thing to possess.

I know someone who had been there during the shoot and I have unquestionable faith on her tale. She saw it happen; nung nag fail yung director to shout “Cut!”, nung nag fail ang production team to check on the actors before the fight scene and remind them to remove anything that would accidentally hurt their actors, nung nag fail sila to make the right call to stop the scene for safety’s sake.

To think, LT could always step back if she thought that the catfight scene was too much for her. Ano ba naman yung few films passed for her safety? Bad take? So what, safe naman yung mukha nya. If Chin Chin really did overreacted, I am sure na by LT stepping back for safety’s refuge, she’d come to her senses if it was too much.

And its crap to say na victim si LT dito. Chin Chin’s and her manager’s silence does not mean all the information that was out was taken correctly. Check out the sentence construction. Know the writers. Question the credibility of the papers and sites or blogs you read articles from. Be at least critical.

One thing that was written that offended me more was that na-weirduhan daw si LT nang nag pray si Chin Chin with her after she apologized. People who would agree that it’s really a weird thing to do does not have a spiritual foundation rooted correctly. People who would think that praying for you is weird but then being cursed is common is in a dark and twisted place. Mas gugustuhin ko naman na i-pray over ako ni Chin and bury this issue kesa sabihin ko na “OK lang ako” and “I forgive you” tapos maglalabas ako ng mga inconsistent comments sa press. After all, in the end, hindi naman pala OK lang lahat. It’s just wrong. Now, you should see bakit nila ginagawa ‘to kay Chin Chin.

The issue about “trauma” is just… I wouldn’t even honor it with a longer paragraph.

POINT #3: A WOMAN DOES NOT OBSCURE HER BEAUTY BY CALLING ATTENTION TO HER IMPERFECTIONS.

She talks to plants and trees.

So what?

I talk to my cats and dogs. I talk to a baby who coos and poops with no indication if I am even understood. I talk to God, not waiting for a reply or an indication that He is even listening. I talk to people like you, hoping to knock some sense out of your head. Our ancestors talked to Anito’s of wood and stone. We talk to images of Mama Mary and Jesus Christ. We talk to ourselves, even loudly at times.

How different is she to us?

Lolit and Co. should start talking to plants and trees also. It might save them a few bucks for psychiatric therapy and their attention-seeking behaviors. You are not the ones to destroy her trend of good reputation for being Time Magazine’s Asian Hero with this crap.

People are saying OA ang atake nya. Then stop writing something OA for her. Keep her out of contrabida roles if they think iisa lang ang atake niya sa role like what she did as Doña Corazon. Reinvent writing for her, magaling na artista yung tao. Sana nga she stayed in May Bukas Pa na lang kesa she was pulled out of it for DMII (which I am starting to dislike, dahil for me… it is becoming predictable and the flashback scenes are becoming too much of a formula. Wala pa akong napanood sa soap na ‘to na di ko pa nakita sa iba---I am entitled for my opinion on this one.).

If I don’t like Chin Chin that much, I wouldn’t even be watching that show. And if Rosalinda hadn’t been too distasteful, I would definitely be watching it. Mas gusto ko pa nga ang PBB as of now e. And yes, I must admit, if it wasn’t for Tessa and Patricia’s conflict, I really wouldn’t bother. Jaime is just too weak…

Back to my point, Chin Chin’s inner and outer beauty is never obscured by the faults other people find about her. You must know for one that other people could find thousand of wrong things about you and judge you for one mistake mercilessly but in the end, it is the contents of your heart that will be judged. Not by mere mortals who can get easily be lured out by wrong and malicious information, but by the God of truth and justice.

You’d hurt for her too if you know who Chin Chin Gutierrez really is.

I will end my entry as Ria has put it, “For the Battle is the Lord’s…” 1Sam 17:47. I’ll wait up for Ms. Chin Chin and her manager’s words on this. I now refuse to take in anymore of this crap.

Chin Chin won me over on this case, her grace and humility is admirable. Her silence over this is regal.

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To your knowledge, my name is Mariel, and address me only if you have something sensible to say.